And So It Is... :-)

Hello and welcome to December! As I sit here at the dawn of a new day and month, I'm still basking in the joy of last Saturday. It's good to just sit in quietness, sometimes. All I can hear is the swish of the cars driving outside in the rain and the pitter-pat of my fingers on the keyboard. :) My heart is warm. My mind is clear. My soul is grateful to God from whom all blessings flow.

So, this past Saturday was a very special day. My cousin Danielle and aunt Suzanne planned an Engagement party for me and my dear one. ;-) I have to admit I've never been to such a party, though I'd heard of them and seen them on tv. I was touched when Danielle told me that she really wanted to have this party for us. That was just the beginning of the filling up of my heart....

I have been sharing moments of the night with a few people this week. However, I'm not sure I've been expressing what truly happened to me on 11.27.10. You see I was a very shy and self-conscious little girl. I struggled with feeling valued. I often felt like an oddball, even an ugly duckling, at times. My quest since college has been learning to accept and love myself in all things, at all times, no matter what. This love has finally blossomed after so many years of praying, reading, journaling, listening, analyzing. (yep, all that). And in coming to my own acceptance and love of myself, I've been able to embrace and finally FEEL the love from those around me. Which brings me to Saturday.

We walk in the door of my aunt's beautiful home and the first face I see is my dad's. And the first emotion I feel is happiness. Almost everyone comes to welcome us. The love is starting to ooze out. :-) Now, I had no idea what would unfold soon after our arrival. Folks are feeling light and joyful. Celebrating. My cousin then asks my dad to come and make a toast. So, of course, my father takes the floor and he begins to say things that I've always dreamed of hearing. All I can remember clearly was my dad calling me his princess and saying how much he loves me. I felt my heart getting so full from this love and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. In my mind, I was saying to myself, breathe, take it all in. I was biting my lip not to cry like a baby. Have you ever felt so full with joy that you can't contain it? This is what was happening to me. In those moments as my dad was speaking to me and my loved ones, I felt elated. I've never felt quite like that before. I felt like his little girl again. I'm the eldest child so I don't usually feel that way. But, this night reminded me that I'll always be my dad's princess. Wow. His toast ended with lots of hugs and kisses. :-)

That was not the end though. My uncle Dane was up next. I've referred to him many times as the Best Uncle Ever. He really is. He is adored by my entire family. Just gotta meet him to know what I mean. :-) He stirred up the emotions too. It was more than I can even begin to express. It was love. Authentic, overflowing love.

So, my dad has spoken, my uncle. The music begins again.....But wait, the man of the hour stands up. Yes, my dear one aka Xavier now has something to say. Now, this is so not planned. In fact, everything that has happened thus far is totally organic and surprisingly awesome to me. He stands up and says something like "you know we had a whirlwind romance, and we knew pretty soon that we wanted to be married. I proposed but the next day I was thinking I really want to know her family a bit better. So" he reached out (he pointed to my dad) and mentioned Dane (i think)..., and then he said something that REALLY surprised me he said something like "that is why I'm so glad to be here with you all so that I can ask her again .." and then he got down on one knee, looked me in my eyes and pulled out another ring (of course, I already had the original one he gave me when he proposed on Aug. 19th :-)) and asked me to marry him. Ok, in those seconds, minutes, moments, I was having an out of body experience. I was already on another "plane" from the words of my first love--my dad. & then Dane. Now, dear one is pulling this. lol. All I can remember is thinking oh my God, I'm so blessed. I am so grateful. I hear noise. Ooos and ahhhs and the room is overflowing with tears and love and joy. This is a true CELEBRATION!

There is so much I could say about that night. What this night meant to me is beyond words. It was like a culmination of all that I've prayed for in regards to feeling loved and necessary and valued. I could not ask for a more touching jumpstart to the next chapter of my journey. How lucky. No, how blessed am I to have family and friends to take time out of their lives to celebrate my happiness. My new love. How blessed am I to have attracted a man that genuinely cares about every aspect of my being. To have found someone to talk to every day to share my hopes, dreams, trials and joys. How blessed am I to have found love within. This love has allowed me to realize that I've had love all along. It's good to be awake, finally!

Thank you Danielle. Thank you Suzanne. Thank you daddy for expressing a father's pure love for his daughter. Thank you dear one for choosing to share your life with a gal like me.

My heart is grateful for this journey~ the ups, the downs, the everythings. I am open and receptive to more lessons in love. I know for sure that the goodness of that night, my engagement party, the lovefest of my life (so far) will fuel me whenever I get down about the "stuff" of life. I am glad. Very glad for that experience.

And so it is....that I am loved. I am lovable. I am a loving being. Yes!

Sending overflowing gratitude your way. Tag you're it!