So, I have a few things on my mind. Things that make me think REALLY? Just some thoughts that I tend to think of as my two cent tidbits. :-) Here goes:
*** Marriage. That seems to be the topic of the month, week, day lately. Everything from sleeping in separate beds, to participating in sharing your hubby to ensure a "good" marriage, to the "Un-divorce."
I was watching Larry King Live last night listening to a woman named Holly Hill said that it's healthy to share your husband if you're not using him, say your best friend needs a man for the night--lend yours. She is in support of infidelity. Really? Ok, am I archaic or living in a fantasy-land because I still believe marriage is sacred. What is marriage if everything is free willy? Isn't marriage a partnership and an agreement before God to be committed to the one you love, care about and intend to share your life with? When did marriage become so open? Why get married if you still want to be free to mix and mingle with others intimately? What's the point? And is it fair to the wife, the hubby, or even the mistress? Whose winning in infidelity? I mean is the man even winning? He may be having his cake and eating it too, but if he has a conscious I'm sure after a while this double life/secret affair will begin to gnaw at him. hmmm.
I do believe every man's journey is his own. He chooses what path(s) to walk, what turns to take, etc. However, where is self-control, respect, honor? What is love and commitment really about?
The fact is marriage takes work, just like anything else we really want in this life. Nothing worth having comes easy. Once you get married the effort you took to hook your mate should now blossom into the work you do to maintain a healthy, loving, evolving relationship/union. There will be trial and waves of disappoint, such is life. The key is to maintain some sense of balance, joy, laughter, love in the midst of the pain. It is possible to have a "happy" and healthy marriage without infidelity. Communicate, have the same life goals, stay on the same page, consistently laugh together, make it a point to have "couple-time", have things you enjoy doing together, and remember that you are still individuals within this union, honor that, support that and encourage each other's dreams.
**Let's talk about our kids. Who is really raising our children? In the last 5 days, I've seen some very troubling scenes with adults and children. Now, I'm not sure if the adults that I saw with these children were there parents, aunts, cousins, etc. I just know the adult was the person in possession of these kids. First scene: a nice, summer eve in Jersey City--I'm sitting on the bench-like structure waiting for the bus, when 2 adult woman probably in their early 20s and two kids a boy around 5 yrs. old and a girl about 4 come along. The kids are yelling and playing roughly. The girl hits the boy and runs, the adult no.1 encourages the little boy to hit the little girl "go get her!" she instigates. Thus the boy hits the little girl, she screams and the chaos begins. Two grown folks encourages violence. In my mind, I'm thinking really? Why oh why oh why. I have a flash forward 15 yrs from now of this little boy now about 21 hitting his girlfriend....Or the little girl accepting that ok to fight with men. The scene was very frustrating and sad on so many levels.
Second scene: yesterday. I am waiting for the Path train at the World Trade Center stop. I am seated diagonally from a cute little girl who looks to be no older than 5 yrs. old. 2 minutes after I glance at her, I hear huff "F-U" to the woman sitting next to her. The woman says nothing, she is apparently her guardian for the day (mother, aunt, friend, cousin, something). Then the little girl says "F-U, M-Fer!" My heart drops, I look her dead in the eye for about 2 seconds, because I'm really amazed. I'm wondering what the folks around me are thinking. No one is saying anything of course. The guardian says something like you think you're bad or some foolishness to the child. Nothing is said that would demonstrate to this child that such language should never roll from her tongue ever, especially not towards an adult. I, again, want to shake someone after witnessing this ridiculousness. What on EARTH is going on? Who is parenting our children? The scary thing is you can't even dare to say anything in a loving way when you see such behavior. You don't want to risk being cursed out by the child, the parent, or both, or even worse hit. What happened to it takes a village? What happened to respecting your elders? What happened to healthy parenting? It is so sad that our kids are not being guided and are not receiving the tools from home that they are truly going to need when they are out in the world. I feel like monsters are being raised out here. And it scares me. I applaud all the parents out there really doing the job they signed up for when they gave birth, which is showing love, teaching love, respect, responsibility and so much more to these little humans. Can these cycles of self-destruction be broken?
***Ok, on a lighter note it's still summertime. :-) The sun is still shining. And we are alive and well today. It's a perfect day for a watermelon slushy! Yum!! There's nothing like seeing things in a new, brighter way. I'm open to your thoughts today. :-)
Sending good energy your way. Tag you're it!
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